108 - How "Authentic" Should You Be Online? (It Depends On You)

How important is it to be "authentic" online? And what does that even mean anyway? For me, it depends. 

This solo episode is all about being authentic on social media. I share some insights from Seth Godin on what authenticity actually means. And what it doesn't. 

What I often tell clients I work with, what people share on social media isn't an accident. People share what they want us to see. 

• Authenticity online is often misconstrued; it's not just about being unfiltered.
• People share intentionally; nothing on social media is by accident.
• Oversharing can lead to regret and negative reactions.
• It's important to define what is professional, personal, and private in sharing.
• Your audience doesn't need to know every detail of your life.
• Being authentic means being true to yourself while considering your audience.
• Consistency in messaging builds trust with your audience.
• Intentional sharing can have a significant impact on engagement.
• You can choose what to share based on your comfort level.
• It's okay to not share everything, share what you want to.

🔷 Thank you for listening. If you found this episode relevant don't forget to hit that Follow Button to keep learning and growing with us.

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Transcript

[00:00:00.00] 

Hi, I'm Annette Richmond. Thanks for joining me for this episode. Today, we're talking about something I've been noticing for a while, people talking about authenticity online. Now, a couple of years ago, it was everywhere. Everyone on LinkedIn would seem to be talking about being authentic and being real. And a lot of coaches, and yes, I'm putting coaches in air quotes, were telling people to share and share and share and be vulnerable because that's how you get engagement. And listen, it can certainly work. I've seen people grow following talking about going through a medical crisis or a divorce. And if that's what they want to do, I am all for it. I am a big believer in you do you and I'll do me. You don't Tell me what to do, and I don't tell you what to do. We should do whatever we're comfortable with. But what's always concerned me are some of the coaches or experts pushing people to go past with their really comfortable sharing. Because when that happens, sometimes they get pushback or the reaction is more or different than they expected, and then they regret it. Years ago, I heard someone on Clubhouse, I can never remember who that was, describe sharing content as being in three buckets: professional, personal, and private.

[00:01:19.23] 

Now, professional is easy. That's me sharing tips or tricks or information, how to make a video, how to engage on LinkedIn, any business stuff. Then there's personal. Now, for me, that's things like me and my husband at a game or me out to lunch with one of my girlfriends, or, of course, the dogs. Lots of stuff with the dogs, and their videos often get more engagement than mine do. Then there's the private. Now, for me, that's stuff that I would only be sharing with my besties. If I were going through a divorce, I'm not, but if I were, I wouldn't be talking about that on social media. Now, that doesn't mean that nobody should. It just means that I have to be true to what I am comfortable with. And personally, I think that we all should. Now, this whole topic recently came back to me when I was watching an interview with Seth Godin, and he was talking about his most recent book, This is Strategy, Make Better Plans, which came out last October, October 2024. Now, let me be clear here. I am paraphrasing this, but one of the things that I've heard Seth Godin say in interviews is that there's really no such thing as true authenticity.

[00:02:32.23] 

Now, he says, We haven't been fully authentic since we were babies crying in the cradle. Because from the moment we grow up, everything we do has some intent behind it. And that reminds me of what I tell people when they talk about being vulnerable online or when they admire someone else for being so authentic. And again, authentic in air quotes here. And what I always remind people is they're showing you what they want you to see. Nobody shares anything on social media by accident. So the only time you see that is if someone else records a celebrity doing something controversial and sells it to the media. But for the rest of us, what we share where what you see on social media is intentional. And in another part of the interview, Seth said something like, People don't really want authentic anyway. They want your best authentic self. And so So think about it. If you go to your favorite coffee shop, not mentioning any names of favorite coffee shops here, and the barista is snappish because he's having a bad day, do you want his authentic self, or do you want the friendly smile and banter that you usually get?

[00:03:46.09] 

I'll go for the smile and the banter. Or say if I write an email when I'm annoyed, my authentic self in that moment is, well, let's just say I can be a little snarky. So instead of hitting send, I'll drop that into ChatGPT and ask it to make it more professional. Not condescending and not wishy-washy, but professional. Because saying exactly what's on my mind in that instant is no way to run a business. I certainly don't want to be known as a witch with a capital B that nobody wants to work with. The way that I see it, being authentic doesn't mean just being unfiltered. It means showing up as the version of you that's still true, but also the The best version for the people you're trying to reach. Now, let's look at another flip side. Some people, of course, share everything on LinkedIn, and that is perfectly cool. I know people on LinkedIn where every single post that they have or just about is another selfie. Now, sometimes it's connected to the topic. Hey, I do that, too. And then there are the folks who can take anything and spin it into a story.

[00:04:55.14] 

I recently saw someone else post about the ridiculousness of this and she said that people can share a picture of a half-eaten pop tart and then start the post saying, I saw this pop tart laying on the ground, and it made me think of leadership. Now, that might be me taking a photo of some dog poop in our yard and sharing it with a post about how important it is to clean up our messes in life. Now, could I do that? Well, yeah, probably. But should I? Probably not. Probably not very tasteful. So my point is for some people, sharing selfies and every life struggle they're going through feels right. For me, not so much. And it's okay. It's okay for them to do what they want and okay for me to do what I want. So here's the big question, though. How authentic should you really be? And my thought is as authentic as feels right to you. Ask yourself, is what I'm about to share professional? Am I sharing this because I want to, for whatever reason, or because somebody told me that I should? Am I comfortable sharing this no matter who reads it?

[00:06:03.23] 

Now, I'll give you an example from my own life. I am primarily apolitical online. I don't rant and rave about politics, but every once in a while, something happens that I just can't ignore, like school children being murdered while sitting in the classroom. Now, whenever that happens, it takes me right back to Sandy Hook, which was December 14th, 2012. I remember that day like we remember 9/11, because that school was about 30 to 35 minutes from where I live. I know people who live in that town. I know people who grew up in that town. And for me, and many of us, that was the first time something like that really hit our collective consciousness here in the US. So when something like that happens again, it often will really hit me hard. I share a post, even on LinkedIn, supporting stronger gun laws. Now, I don't I don't rant, I don't rave, but I'll just point out the statistics, the number of guns, the reality of the situation. And that's me. Even though I'm a bit of a political junkie in my personal life, I'm not sharing my authentic political opinions online every day because I don't feel like social media is the place for that.

[00:07:20.04] 

But when I do share something, it's intentional. I've considered what I'm saying and decided that if someone doesn't want to work with me because of a post about gun control, I'm okay with that. And that's really the point. Being authentic doesn't mean you have to share everything all the time. It means sharing in a way that feels true to you, that feels comfortable, that serves a purpose for the people you're trying to reach. Because here's the thing, you can share whatever you want, but your audience doesn't need to see every detail of your life. They don't need to see a barista in a bad mood or the snarky email that I might write. What they do need to see is enough of you that makes them trust you. And this is something I've also heard Seth Godin talk about frequently. I'm a big fan, in case you haven't guessed it. And he talks about the idea that people want consistency. And for me, that means being the same person with the same values, showing up not only consistently, but in a consistent way. Thanks so much for joining me for this episode. If this gave you something to think about, you think it would be valuable, please share it with a friend who's been stressing over what to post.

[00:08:34.11] 

Thanks again, and I'll see you soon.