106 - Presentation Secrets From a Professional Speaker Coach

Think great speakers are born? You would be wrong. Speaking secrets busts the myth about natural talent and offers practical strategies and advice you can use whether you're giving a keynote, speaking on a panel, or recording a video from your home office.

In this episode, I’m sharing clips from an interview with Monisha Toteja, CEO of Dynamic Speaking, pulled from my content vault. During our conversation, Monisha shared breathing techniques, tips for structuring your message, and ways to handle those speaking jitters. 

Takeaways

🔹Good communication isn’t about what you say, it’s about what people hear.

🔹Public speaking is a learned skill, not an inborn talent.

🔹Diaphragmatic breathing boosts projection, clarity, and confidence.

🔹Structure and pauses help your audience follow your message.

🔹Overthinking leads to rambling—focus on one main point at a time.

🔹A little planning (even 30 seconds) can improve your delivery.

🔹Focus on what went well to build confidence, not just what you missed.

🔹Speaking on panels requires concise, to-the-point answers.

🔹Nervousness is normal—your audience is rooting for you.

🔷 Thank you for listening. If you found this episode relevant don't forget to hit that Follow Button to keep learning and growing with us.

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Transcript

[00:00:08.28] 

Hi, I'm Annette Richmond. Welcome to Content Marketing School, where we will dive into content marketing strategies, specifically for B2B professionals, consultants, and entrepreneurs. Discover how to confidently create engaging content and leverage content marketing to elevate your brand and grow your business. And if you enjoy the show, don't forget to hit that follow button. Now, let's dive in to today's episode. Hi, I'm Annette Richmond. Thanks so much for joining me today. You know I like to mix things up. So today I am pulling from my content fold, and I am sharing some clips of an interview that I did with Monisha Toteja, who is a speaker and coach, and she We shared a variety of really interesting strategies for becoming a better speaker and communicator overall. So let's dive in.

[00:01:12.04] 

Please do tell us a little bit about you and what you do.

[00:01:15.22] 

Sure. Thank you, Annette. I'm so excited to join you here today, and thank you so much for reaching out. My name is Monisha Tateja, and I'm the CEO of Dynamic Speaking. It's a communication coaching company that focuses on helping everyone, executives, managers, and rising stars in their communication and their public speaking skills. So that can range from everything, from executive presence to pitching, to networking, to leading teams and meetings, to having difficult conversations, anything that touches the oral communication world. I also taught communication at Wharton for about eight years and was a part-time lecturer there. I've been doing this quite a while, and I love talking to people about communication.

[00:02:00.25] 

I think being able to communicate effectively is certainly essential, whether you're working in corporate or if you're someone like me and you're looking for new clients, working with new clients. Unfortunately, I think most people think of improving their communication skills in terms of being a better writer, so they might take some a writing course. But to me, I also think it's like having a sense of humor. Everybody thinks they have a sense humor, but most people, or many people do not. And people think that they are good communicators, or I should say better communicators than they actually are. So what do you think are some misconceptions? Maybe you can give us three about what makes someone an effective communicator.

[00:02:52.07] 

Sure. Happy to. One of the biggest misconceptions I see with communication is that people think the way they said something is the same way that somebody else heard it. And what we do when we think that way is we have a very self-focused view. So we put ourselves first and we say, Well, this was my message or this was my intent. And clearly, this is how it was going to come across. Now, the reality is that perception can be very different. And depending on your audience and what filters they have, depending on the tone you use, the language you use, and a whole host of other things, it may have come across very differently, and in fact, could be the opposite of what you intended. So that would be the first misconception. Second misconception about public speaking or being an effective communicator is that it's innate. And I come across this all the time where people just say, Oh, they're just naturally a good speaker. They were born that way. They're just charismatic. There's nothing else you can do about it. And that's simply not true. You can take it back, peel back all these different layers, and look at the different facets of communication, and you can see that people build up different habits over time.

[00:04:05.29] 

So when you build up very effective good speaking technique, when you learn the rhetoric, you can have very effective communication. If you don't or you're practicing bad habits or you've never learned them, then you will just be practicing a different skillset. It's really about your mindset in terms of being willing to learn and being willing to try. That That would be the second misconception. Then the third misconception I would give you is that, I say this quite a bit too, is people say, Well, I'm just really nervous or I don't like groups, and so I'm never going to be a good speaker. Again, that's simply not true because anyone has the potential to be a great speaker, but you have to work within the realm of what's comfortable to you and what's authentic to you. You have to push yourself a little bit. You can't be fully comfortable. Sometimes it is a little uncomfortable, but you have to stay true to yourself. That said, we all have a range of what works for us. We don't all speak in the same tone and the same volume for every situation in life. Each of us has a range.

[00:05:16.00] 

And the key is figuring out what that range is that's authentic and still engaging to the audience. But the nervousness is something that we can overcome, and it's not something that should hold people back.

[00:05:28.21] 

I love what you said. You said you mentioned something about practicing techniques. So we have several people in the audience, and people will be listening on the replay. And I certainly would like to... If you can share a few things that people can work on to become more effective communicators. I mentioned you, we were talking before we went live. This is something I'm trying to work on myself to up my game. So what can you share that people can say, you know what, I'm going to start trying this or that today.

[00:06:02.04] 

The biggest thing is actually figuring out your breathing pattern and figuring out how to breathe and speak appropriately. Now, one of the things I will say is when we're babies, we breathe through our diaphragm. So we basically pull all the air down. And if you've ever seen a little baby sleeping, you see their belly goes up and down. Yeah. And then if you see adults when they're speaking, mostly you see the chest go in and out. So throughout time, we basically shift our breathing pattern. And what we want to do, if you're going to be speaking, is you want to shift it back to more of that diaphragm breathing. So working on taking bigger exhals, pulling the breath all the way down into the belly, and then The key here is exhaling and speaking simultaneously. What I found is that many people, by the time they've hit adulthood, have started holding their breath while they're speaking, and that can lead to a whole host of issues. But what you want to do is you start your exhale, and then you can start with a simple exercise of just saying hello. When you start it initially, it's going to sound funny because you're going to take a breath in and then exhale and say, Hello.

[00:07:15.24] 

And you want to try to push the air out of your lungs and use your vocal cords at the same time. And that's one of the biggest things. That will help with projection, with volume. It will help with strength. It will help drop off filler words. There There are a number of things that will help with that breathing technique. So that's one of the biggest ones that people can start right away.

[00:07:35.16] 

Wow, that's amazing.

[00:07:38.20] 

It's a really fun one. It is actually seemingly simple because you're like, Well, everybody breathes, but It's actually not nearly as easy as it seems when you build up decades of a different habit.

[00:07:49.26] 

Oh, I'm sure not. It doesn't sound easy to me at all. So what's something else people can try?

[00:07:56.22] 

All right. So in addition to that, there are a number of other things. One is trying to think about where you put the pauses in your sentence. When we're writing or when we're reading, we have different signposts. We have a comma, a period, a semicolon, a colon, and those tell us where the thoughts break up and where we should pause. When we're speaking, we don't have those same signposts, so our breath is used to end those phrases. Now, a lot of people will take breaths just whenever they run out of air, and oftentimes that's in the middle of a sentence, or we end up with a lot of run-on sentences if people are speaking very quickly. So being purposeful about where you put the pauses and where you take your breath can really help with signposting and also giving people an idea of where you're going and what phrases belong together. Another thing to think about that's not delivery-related is more about how you structure your communication. If you want to stay concise and you want to be succinct, then structure plays a huge role in helping you do that. It also helps the audience understand where you're going to be going in your speech or in your presentation, and it'll help the audience follow along so that they don't get lost.

[00:09:17.14] 

And if you can keep your audience with you, then you've got a better chance of your message getting across.

[00:09:22.16] 

Well, this sounds a little bit like I did some video training, actually, with my friend nick, and one of One of the things that he taught me was to record my videos one line at a time so that I'm not rambling. And your technique sounds a little bit like that, to think of it in terms of one chunk or something, sentence at a time.

[00:09:49.25] 

Exactly. You do want to think about how you're structuring your words in your sentences, because very long run on sentences can be hard to follow. And especially for the listener, you got to keep in mind that the listener doesn't know what you're saying. So you know what you're saying because it's in your head, but the listener has no idea where you're going. So when you start talking and then you keep going and then you keep going and then you keep going, and then you keep going, and then you keep going, It can be very confusing for the listener to say, Well, what was the point? Or, Why am I listening to that? So a little bit of structure or breaking up the sentences into smaller pieces can be very helpful.

[00:10:27.24] 

I'd like to turn a little bit to the to the speaking. I'm sure you've heard that saying that most people fear public speaking more than they fear death.

[00:10:36.29] 

And I think that's because when somebody steps in front of an audience, even if it's a smaller audience, their nerves and anxiety just take over. So can you give us a few tips to get over that?

[00:10:52.17] 

The first thing is going back to that breathing. The breathing technique is going to be huge because your breathing and your heart rate are linked. When your heart rate speeds up, your breathing gets more shallow, but it can go both ways. If you pull back your breathing, you can also pull down your heart rate. That's the first thing in terms of breathing. But breathing aside, a little bit of structure goes a very long way. Just a little bit of thought in planning, and it doesn't have to be extensive planning. I do talk a little bit about planning, but this doesn't mean you have to prep for an hour. It means 30 seconds. You can give it a little bit of thought to say, What are the key points that I'm trying to get across? And just bullet point, 2-3 words of what you're really trying to say and what you want to make sure it comes across. And that little bit of structure helps keep you focused and helps keep the meeting focused as well. It also lets you hone in on what you're really trying to say. So when you jump in, that you know exactly what your focal point is.

[00:11:54.16] 

I'll give you four reasons total. The third one is to focus on the positive or enjoyable aspects. So not everybody loves speaking, and that's totally fine. Some people hate it. Some people just get really nervous, and there's a whole wide range of emotions. But with every opportunity to speak, there is usually something enjoyable or something fun for most people. It may be that, Hey, I get to tell people about this really cool thing that I'm doing. So if you can start to focus on what is actually fun or interesting or enjoyable, even if it's the outcome, you start to refocus on what you like instead of what you don't like. And then the fourth piece is you got to get out of your head, and you've got to focus on what you do well. It's so easy for all of us to be self-critical. And we always... People walk out of meetings and, I didn't do this. I didn't say this. I didn't do that well. I didn't do that well. And we end up in this negative spiral. So the next time you go into a meeting, you're already feeling bad because you're like, I didn't do any of this well last time.

[00:13:04.16] 

So instead, if you keep a running list of what you're also doing well, then you can say, Okay, well, I didn't make great eye contact, but I really projected my voice, or this time I broke into that conversation and I got their attention. And then you can start to build upon your confidence of what things you're doing well. And that will really help get you out of your head, get you away from the nervousness, and again, focus on what what you're trying to say and breaking in the conversation.

[00:13:32.27] 

I love that so much. You say, get out of your head. We all have those inner voices. Mine is an inner critic. My inner voice is never saying, Annette, you are rocking it. You're getting to go, girl. You're awesome. It's always like, Oh, what did I say? Did I put my foot in my mouth? Or I feel that whole imposter syndrome thing. And so I love that idea of making a list of what you are doing well, because that is so important.

[00:14:07.18] 

So turning back to public speaking, what advice would you give to someone who's new to public speaking, speaking at a conference or being part of a panel at a summit or something like that?

[00:14:22.14] 

If you're new to that circuit and you're just starting off speaking, there are a number of things to think about when you're on a panel or you're speaking at a conference. And the first is to really think about what's the story you're trying to tell. So if you go back and think, what's your key point? And there should really be one key point for whatever it is that you're trying to say, because that's what your audience can latch on to. And then if you step back and think, if you're the keynote speaker and you're the only one who's speaking, that's going to be a little bit different from a panel discussion where you're one of many. But if you're the keynote, then you really want to think about your story. And there really should be this overarching feel from beginning to end that holds your audience's attention. So you've got to think about how do you start, how do you get them engaged, how do you build up the story, what is that tipping point or that climax of the story, how does everything unravel at the end, and then what is that resolution? It's really that story arc.

[00:15:25.00] 

And even if it's something in a business setting, there's usually a story that you can pull out of it. And that makes it much more engaging for your audience to listen to. So if you can figure out the story first, then you figure out the key points you want to add under each section of the story, that will make everything flow very nicely and help it feel like one cohesive talk. Now, if you're speaking on a panel, then you're going to be speaking in much shorter bursts of time. You've got 30 seconds or a couple of minutes at most at one time. There you've got to keep your language very succinct and very focused. I see a lot of people who are new to the circuit start rambling, and they're not sure. They start answering the question, and they start here, and then they keep going, and then they're not sure, and they turn, and they turn, and they turn. There's a lot of air time, and you're still not clear on what they were trying to say. So if you can take that deep breath and very quickly think about a structure, or if you can't think of a structure, think of the highlight.

[00:16:25.19] 

If they've asked for a key point, they say, Well, here's the first one that comes to mind. And when you're short on time, you don't need to go through the entire laundry list. You can say the biggest area or the key point or the most important thing. Focus on that first. And then if something else pops to mind while you're talking, you can always add in, Oh, here's another point to consider as well. So that's for those short bursts.

[00:16:49.02] 

Now, that makes perfect sense because I agree also. Sometimes people are on panels and they start rambling. They take the time from other people or from what the host or the panel is or the moderator is trying to get across maybe on the topic. So I really, really love that. So we're getting near the end. And I'd like to ask you if you can share something that maybe you wish I would have asked you, that I didn't, some advice, last thoughts, final thoughts, whatever, with people that would be great.

[00:17:32.07] 

I think the last thing I would say, and we touched upon this at the beginning, but really what I want to focus on is that speaking is not inherent, and nobody is just born a naturally good speaker. That is, we all learn, and we're all capable of learning. I think the real big takeaway here is that if you want to become a better speaker or a better communicator, or you have to because of your job and you're starting to do more of these speaking engagements or leading teams or leading meetings, if you're feeling nervous or you're not feeling good about it or you don't like it at all, then really think about how do you build your team of people to help you become better. And a coach might be part of that team, and other colleagues or mentors might be part of that team. But you have to believe that you can change. I think a lot of this is a mindset. So if you can believe that you can change and you can believe that you can learn, then really the world is open, and that includes all of the speaking engagements. You can become a much better speaker if you're willing to try.

[00:18:43.14] 

I love that because I think so many of us, and we touched on this also earlier, we are our own worst critics. We would never... And I think also, I I learned from a speaker, speaking coach years ago was giving a presentation when I was just starting to speak to the job seeker groups. And one of the things that holds some people back if they are speaking or If they're doing video, because all of everything you've said has come in is so important with video as well, is people are concerned about how they look and how people are going to be judging them. I'd like to be thinner and younger and better-looking, but you are who you are. But one of the things that this person said in her presentation was that people don't care what you look like. And while you do want to be a better speaker, they don't care so much what you sound like. They're most interested in the message, in how it is going to help them. And again, not to discount the speaking, but do you think And I'm just trying to remember that and to think that the audience also, they are rooting for you, right?

[00:20:04.29] 

I mean, they're not hoping you fail. They're not saying, Oh, gee, I wish you would fall over. They're hoping. So what's your take on all of that?

[00:20:14.13] 

I would say that you're right in that audiences do tend to be fairly generous and forgiving. And I think that is absolutely true, that people are rooting for you. People want you to do well. Nobody's hoping that you're boring and put them to sleep or that you fall in your face or anything like that. I will say, that said, it's not that the rest doesn't matter. And especially on Zoom, the first thing that people see is this much of you and your background. So it's not so much that everything needs to be pristine. It's more that it needs to not distract from what you're doing. And the same thing with your visuals. If you can keep eye contact with the camera, it's not natural because you want to look at the screen, but the camera eye contact makes it feel like you're talking to the other person. But little things, you have to make sure your lighting is okay. You have to make sure your camera is positioned well. Nobody wants to be looking up your nose or down at your forehead. It's little things. But again, I wouldn't stress about, Oh, do I have a pimple right here or not?

[00:21:15.02] 

I mean, that type of thing, again, nobody's going to pay attention to. I'm thinking more of the big picture visuals of making sure just things look appropriate and it's easy to see you and understand you, so it's not distracting.

[00:21:27.28] 

Thanks again for joining me for this episode. I hope you picked up a tip or two. I know I did during my conversation with Monisha. If you found this episode helpful and relevant, please share it with a friend. I bet they will thank you. If you find the Content Marketing School podcast helpful, please give us a five-star review. It's the only way I'll know that I'm on the right track. See you next time. Thanks for tuning in to Content Marketing School with me, Annette Richmond. If today's Insights have inspired and resonated with you, please share this episode with a friend. And if you haven't already, hit that follow button to keep learning and growing with us.